


My Best Dream Was You

by marckmallows



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Closure, Drama, Ex Lovers, Exes, Hiking, M/M, mountain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:21:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22858450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marckmallows/pseuds/marckmallows
Summary: "From our trainee days until now, you have been by my side. God knows how happy and thankful I was because I once had you, but did you really love me, Changmin? Or was it just my imagination?"Changmin sighed, "I tried, Chanhee. I really tried.""But still," I bitterly smiled, "you didn't."-An AU wherein Chanhee and Changmin enjoyed a "love talk" on top of a mountain.My Best Dream Was YouWritten by: marckmallows_
Relationships: Choi Chanhee | New/Ji Changmin | Q
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	My Best Dream Was You

**_Chanhee_ **

_The warmth of the sun stroking my skin made my eyes shot open. I groaned in annoyance. Who had the audacity to open my curtains and disturb me from my beauty sleep?  
  
  
  
**"Good morning, love."**  
  
  
  
I looked at the door and witness the man of my life standing there, bearing a tray with his both hands. He's smiling at me from ear to ear, and I felt my heart stopped for a while.  
  
  
  
How can someone be so magical like him?  
  
  
  
I rolled my eyes at him when I remembered he was the one who woke me up at 7 am during weekends.  
  
  
  
**"Oh come on, Chanhee. Rise and shine!"** Changmin said as he gently placed the tray on my side table.  
  
  
  
He sat beside me and cupped my cheeks and gave me a peck on my lips. He always did this when I'm annoyed because he was aware I couldn't resist him.  
  
  
  
I hated that he was correct.  
  
  
**  
"But it's too early..."** I pouted. He just chuckled and hugged me. I dug my head deeper onto his neck, softly planting kisses on it.  
  
  
  
**"It's too early for you to wake up at this hour, but not too early for you to be naughty?"** He smirked.  
  
  
  
I laughed, **"Fine. Let me just fix myself."**  
  
  
  
As I was about to leave my bed, Changmin pulled me back and pinned me down. **"Fix yourself later. You need something that can boost your energy."**  
  
  
  
Right.   
  
_  
  
  
  
  
**  
"CHANHEE!"**  
  
  
  
I got back to my senses when I heard Sangyeon's voice echoing in my ear.  
  
  
  
**"We've been calling you, but you didn't respond. Not even once you looked at us. Is everything okay?"** Jacob asked.  
  
  
  
I didn't respond. I merely shrugged and went out of the studio. I heard them calling my name, but I didn't dare to look back. I needed a break free from this place. I needed a vacation.  
  
  
  
I went to my car and started driving. To where? Neither did I know. I just wanted to escape this world. I heard my phone ringing—it was Kevin this time. He had been calling me for five times already, but I answered none of those. I wanted to be alone for a while. I wanted to find myself. I wanted to find the person I lost because of too much love.  
  
  
  
And it all started with a milk.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_It was my second day in this university. Did I make any friends during my first day? No. Did I plan on making friends? No. I didn't genuinely like socializing, really, but I also wanted to join some singing club. They have plenty here so I guess I just need to specify one then proceed to audition.  
  
  
  
I sat on the corner, as usual, beside the window. I looked at the blue sky with my earphones plugged in my ear. I still have ten minutes before my class starts, but I prefer going early so that I didn't have to disturb other people and I would be able to freely choose my seat.  
  
  
  
Startled by the hand suddenly touching my shoulder, I gasped, almost cursing. I was glad I had some self-control skills.  
  
  
  
**"I wanted to approach you yesterday after class but you quickly put your earphones on and started walking so fast. I was calling you, but I guess you didn't hear me."** He said.  
  
  
  
He placed a strawberry milk on my desk. He smiled at me, **"This one's for you. It's on my, by the way. My name's Changmin. I hope we can be friends."  
**  
  
  
My eyes widen. Did this boy really buy me a gift? I didn't even notice him yesterday.  
  
  
  
**"Y-you didn't have t---"** I wasn't able to complete my sentence when he sat beside me and brought out some snacks from his bag. **"I have to. I want to be your friend, remember?"** He said.  
  
  
  
He wanted to be my friend? Did I have other choices?  
  
  
  
I cleared my throat, so I won't stutter again, **"Sure..."  
**  
  
  
His smile grew wider, **"That's great!"**  
  
  
  
We talked for a bit, actually not we, but he. He continued talking and I was just nodding and agreeing to whatever he said. It's not like I was uninterested, I just feel like he was already oversharing. What if someone overheard what he said then made a rumor about him? Who would he suspect? Probably I because we just met today and it was me who knew he once shit on his pants because he was too afraid to ask his teacher if he could go to the comfort room.  
  
  
  
He already narrated ten various stories in a span of ten minutes, and I'm pretty certain he would tell more after our short class. _  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I stopped in small convenient store to ask where I am because I didn't really have any idea where am I right now. I also wanted to buy some snacks since I knew this would be a long day.  
  
I bought some chips and milk—the same milk that he bought for me.  
  


_After a few days of Changmin's storytelling, I ultimately managed to be comfortable around him. I learned how to act whenever I'm with him. I should match his energy because if I didn't, he would think that I hate him or I have a problem, which I don't, by the way.  
_

_  
  
  
**"Chanhee, I have meant to ask you this one."** Changmin said. He's probably contemplating whether he would ask it or would just say never mind so I gave him an assurance that he could ask me any question.  
  
  
  
**"What is it?"** I asked.  
  
  
  
He took a deep breath, **"I don't want you to think that I'm a creep or something but I kind of overheard you last time when you went to the comfort room. You were singing my favorite song. You undoubtedly have a good voice! An angelic voice, really! So I'm hoping you will consider joining my group..."**  
  
  
  
I blinked a couple of times. Did he just compliment me? I felt my cheeks becoming warm, and am probably as red as a tomato now. It took me a minute to process what he just said, and when I was about to answer he started speaking again.  
  
  
  
**"You don't have to make a decision now, Chanhee."** He smiled, **"If you want, I can show you our practice room first and then I'll introduce you to them. They're probably there because we have a scheduled practice today. You don't mind meeting new people, right?"**  
  
  
  
I nodded, **"I don't. I'm actually making my decision whether I'll join or not join a singing club. I didn't know you can sing as well."**  
  
  
  
He led the way to his group's practice room. It's about five to ten minutes walk from the main campus, and I'm fine with it because I haven't wandered that long for a while.  
  
  
  
**"We don't exactly sing, actually. We perform."** Changmin excitedly said, **"I choreograph our songs along with Juyeon. I'm a dancer, and I'm well known by my stage name, Q. I can sing too, but not as great as you, though."**  
  
  
  
Once again, I felt my cheeks turning red. It will be abundantly visible since I have a milk-like skin.  
  
  
  
He chuckled, **"Are you blushing again?"**  
  
  
  
I suddenly shook my head and playfully pushed him away, **"Don't mock me! And for the record, I'm not! It's just heated here..."**  
  
  
  
We reached the practice room thirty minutes before their scheduled time but to my surprise, they're already complete when we entered.  
  
  
  
**"Guys, I want you to meet Chanhee, my friend."** Changmin introduced me. All of them, and by all, I mean ten boys swiftly went to me and formed a circle around me. It was shocking, to be honest. How am I supposed to feel and act when I feel like they were reading me as if I was an open book in a library?  
  
  
  
Changmin pulled me away from them, and they started creating weird noises. They're probably teasing him.  
  
  
  
**"Don't scare him like that. He's a potential new member, and has the most angelic voice I have ever heard in my entire life."** Changmin said.  
  
  
  
**"Perfect! It's a good thing that we have another great singer in our team. I'm already feeling back pain from carrying the entire team in terms of singing."** Someone said. He smiled at me, **"Hi! My name's Kevin and I can't wait to hear you sing!"**  
  
  
  
**"Easy there, Kevin. You sound like a coach in The Voice trying to persuade a contestant. We all know I carry this team when it comes to singing. I am Sangyeon. I head this team."** Sangyeon introduced himself.  
  
  
  
They started bragging and lifting their own chairs afterwards, which is totally chaotic. I ponder how can they survive a day like this?_  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
After my stopover, I finally found a place to stay in. It was just a mini hotel and it was located a few steps besides a mountain, which I would love to hike if ever. They said hiking can relief stress, so it was presumably worth a shot.  
  
  
  
**"Is there any vacant rooms?"** I asked the attendant at the concierge.  
  
  
  
She nodded, **"You're on luck, sir. We still have a vacant room with one bedroom. Will you stay for a day or mo---"  
**  
  
  
She wasn't able to finish what she was about to say when someone interfered with our talk which was very disrespectful. I turned my back to him and took my phone out, only to see seventy five missed calls.  
  
  
  
**"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I really need a place to stay in."**  
  
  
  
That voice sounded familiar. Really, really familiar. I felt my heartbeat stopped. My knees were becoming weak, and my hands were sweating. Why did I have to encounter him right now?  
  
  
**  
"I'm sorry, but we don't have any vacant room anymore. I'm afraid you can't stay in here tonight."** The attendant explained. I overheard him sigh. As he was about to leave, I turned to him.  
  
  
  
My heart felt like it was stabbed a million times.  
  
  
  
**"It's f-fine...I k-know him..."** I said.  
  
  
  
The attendant nodded, **"Noted, sir, but just like what I told you earlier, the only vacant room that we have right now is a one bedroom unit. Will that be okay?"**  
  
  
  
I looked at the person beside me. I didn't ask him verbally. All I had to do was look at his eyes and thankfully he received my message already. He nodded at me.  
  
  
  
I cleared my throat, **"We're fine with it."**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_**"So did you like my friends? Sorry they're kind of chaotic. They're a bunch of crackheads."** Changmin said. We both laughed because it was accurate.  
  
  
  
**"You said that as if you aren't like them."** I teased him.  
  
  
  
**"Right,"** Changmin scratched his nape, **"You convinced me there."  
**  
  
  
**"Oh, is the baby embarrassed? Aw, look at him being all shy!"** I teased him more.  
  
  
  
After spending a few days with him, I became jollier. I guess it was a good sign because at least I wouldn't miss my dog that much. Chuck, my dog, passed away last month. A few days before I started my college life. I was absolutely devastated, but thanks to Changmin everything became better, somehow.  
  
  
  
**"You know, I miss my dog so much."** I sighed. I felt his hand caressing my back. I was unsure if I already told him what happened or not, but judging from his reaction, I guess I did.  
  
  
  
**"Why don't we visit him tomorrow? We don't have classes anyway."** He suggested.  
  
  
  
We stopped at the ice cream shop near our dorm. We both ordered a strawberry-flavored ice cream. We sat on a bench first and observed the night sky.  
  
  
  
**"Are you sure that you want to come with me? Don't you have practice tomorrow?"** I asked him.  
  
  
  
He ruffled my hair, **"WE have a practice tomorrow, but we can also excuse ourselves. This is far more important anyway, I'm sure they'd understand. To answer your first question, I'd love to come with you."**  
  
  
  
I felt my heart pounding. Changmin is one of the kindest people I have ever met.  
  
  
  
We ate our ice cream in silence, until Changmin shouted in excitement. **"Look! A wishing star! Let's make a wish."**  
  
  
  
He was also a soft person, may I just add. I stared at him, at how he closed his eyes and whisper words I barely hear. He gradually opened my eyes and caught me staring at him. I smiled, **"What did you wish for?"  
**  
  
  
**"For your wish to come true,"** I was caught off-guard by his response. **"What did you wish for?"** He asked.  
  
  
  
I wish you and I could stay like this forever._   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
But wishes wouldn't come true if you would inform other people about it.  
  
  
  
As soon as we entered the room, I instantly jumped on the bed. It was really relaxing, especially after a long day. I wished for this day to end soon because I couldn't wait to climb that mountain and release all the words that neither my hand nor mouth can express.  
  
  
  
**"Thank you for letting me stay, Chanhee. I have been looking for a place, but I seem to can't find one."** He said.  
  
  
  
I didn't answer him, instead I just nodded. I didn't even dare to face him. I buried my head onto the pillow.  
  
  
  
**"Okay then, I'm going to take a shower first."** He said.  
  
  
  
I got out of my bed as soon as I heard the bathroom door closed. I let out a deep breath and took my phone out. I replied to Kevin's messages and notified him that I was doing fine and I was sorry about what happened earlier.  
  
  
  
I didn't mean to burst out like that. I just hated the fact that I had to recall one of the wholesomest things that he had done for me. I regretted the fact that I used to believe in his words and actions. What did I ever do to deserve such pain? All I ever desired was to love and feel loved, but I guess that would never happen.  
  
  
  
**"I miss you Chuck, the one that truly loved me the most."** I whispered as my tears streamed down. I'm such a crybaby. Why couldn't I stop these tears from falling down? I'm supposed to be forgetting everything that happened in the past, but why was it all coming back to me?   
  


_**"Good morning, Chuck."** I said as I approached the grave of my dog. I placed his body on my house's backyard. My parents supported my decision since they have grown fondness to the dog as well._

_**"I'm sorry I wasn't able to visit you these past few days. I just started my college life, and it wasn't easy to adjust. Thankfully I have a friend who helped me. He even came here with me."** I looked at Changmin, and he was smiling at me._

_**"Hi, Chuck. You don't have to worry about Little Chanhee anymore. Changmin's here to protect him and help him just like what you did until now."** He said._

_I just shook my head. He's Changmin, what can I expect?_

_**"I miss you Chuck. I really do. I want you here by my side again. I want to play with you again..."** My tears started falling down, and there's no way I'd stop them. Not in front of my favorite animal, because I always told myself I will let all the pain out when I'm with Chuck because he knew how to help me._

_I felt a hand caressing my back. I looked at Changmin, and he's offering his handkerchief. I wiped my tears with it, and when I can still not cease it, he embraced me in a tight hug._

_**"It's okay now, Chanhee. I'm here. Chuck's here too."** I let it all out, just like what I always do before._

_We stayed like this for five minutes. He was just hugging me until I found myself slowly relaxing. I never cried so hard like that before. When I finally calmed down, we went inside where my parents were waiting for us._

_  
**"Are you alright, Chanhee? Why don't you both join us here for dinner?"** My mom asked._

_I nodded and went to the dining table with Changmin. She cooked much food for four people, I must say._

_**"I'm glad that Chanhee found a trustworthy friend in his university,"** Mom said, **"I was really worried about his condition but now that I met you, Changmin, I'm relieved now."**_

_**"I'll do my best as his dearest friend, Aunt Choi."** Changmin even bowed. I couldn't help but laugh at him. Why is he an unusual person in front of my parents?_

_**"Sounds like a boyfriend introducing himself. Tell me the truth, Chanhee. Is he your boyfriend?"** Dad asked. My eyes widen and I felt Changmin's hand squeezing my thigh._

_We stayed silent for a second until Dad broke the quiet atmosphere, **"I was just joking! But if he is, then I'm at ease. I can sense he's a good boy and he won't hurt you."**_

_We, Changmin and I, smiled awkwardly as we continued eating dinner._

**"It's okay now, Chanhee. I'm here. Chuck's here too, probably. He can sense whenever you're sad, right?"** I heard someone said from behind me.

I felt a hand stroking my back and so I suddenly stood up and maintained my distance, **"I'm fine."**

He sighed and sat on the bed as he dried his hair, **"Remember the first time I went to your house? We visited Chuck there. You were grieving the same way that you're crying right now. I managed to soothe you down, though. I even met your parents. That's also the first time we stayed in your room together, just like today."**

**"Very unlike today."** I bitterly smiled as I wiped my tears, **"Last time I was such a fool for believing in your words, but now I have learned my lesson."**

He smiled sadly, " **I'm sorry, Chanhee."**

**"Because?"**

**"Because I ruined you,"** He paused. **"Because I didn't deserve your love. Because I'm such an asshole for not giving you what you deserve."**

I didn't directly respond to his statements. I just gave him a faint smile, **"I'm tired. I'll sleep now. You can sleep on the bed too. It's not like we're doing this the first time."**

I hate you, Changmin. I hate that I love you.

\---

The next day, I woke up when I felt someone gently shaking me. It was Changmin, who else would it be when there's only the two of us here? He smiled at me as he greeted me a pleasant morning, but how can it be good when he's the first person I'll see?

**"I made you a sandwich and milk just like before."** I stared at him and sighed, **"I'm not hungry."**

He just gave me a small smile. I went to the bathroom to fix myself. I need to start hiking as early as possible because knowing myself; it would take me a whole day to successfully reach the top.

**"We still have at least an hour before our scheduled hiking with the tour guide."** I almost choked on my toothbrush when I heard him say "our."

There's no way that I'd do this thing with him. How can I shout what my heart desires to state when I'm with him?

**"I figured out that you went here because you wanted to hike and I do too. Sorry if I wasn't able to say this to you last night. You were already sleeping, and I didn't want to bother you. If you want, I won't join you anymore."** He explained.

I went out of the bathroom and looked at him. I sighed, **"It's fine."**

If he wanted to climb a mountain, he could. It's not like I possess that anyway, and it will also be better if he'll hear how much pain he caused me, I guess.

_We, Changmin and I, were on our way to my dorm when I asked him if we can buy ice cream first. He agreed as he missed eating ice cream too.  
  
  
  
**"I wanted to tell you something, Changmin."** I told him as we sat down on the same bench where we sat before. I just figured it would be easier for me and less awkward for us to talk about this when we were at a place we were both comfortable at.  
  
  
  
**"I've been thinking about this for a while, but now I am certain about how I feel."** He looked puzzled, which is honestly cute.  
  
  
  
I took a deep breath, **"I like you. I didn't know how and why, but I just woke up one day thinking about you, how you are doing and how I want to spend my day with you. I thought of this for a while and now I am ready to express my feelings."**  
  
  
  
He didn't answer. He just stared at me with his eyes widen.  
  
  
  
**"You don't need to return my feelings, really. I just thought you deserved to know it since you're my friend and I don't like keeping things nor lying to my friend."** I looked down, feeling embarrassed.  
  
  
  
It took him a couple of minutes or more before he finally decided to give me a smile, **"Do you want to date? Maybe we could make it work."**_  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I punched the wall upon recalling how I confessed to him. He could've just straightforwardly rejected me. That would be better for us two, but he didn't.  
  
  
  
**"Are you okay?!"** Changmin asked, rushing to me after coming out from the bathroom. He looked at my hand. It was turning red. Fortunately I didn't get any bruises at all.  
  
  
  
**"Yes,"** I averted his gaze, **"Finish preparing now. I'll be waiting for you outside."**  
  
  
  
I went out of the room and proceeded downstairs where I saw the tour guide waiting for us.  
  
  
  
How can he still show fake love and care to me after all the things that happened? Of course, what do I expect when that's what he literally showed me for three years? He's good at it, so why I am still surprised?  
  
  
  
**"I'm here!"** Changmin said as he got out of the elevator. He brought two bags, which I think the other one is mine because the design's familiar.  
  
  
  
He handed me my bag, **"You forgot yours so I brought it. I put snacks there because you didn't eat your breakfast."**  
  
  
  
I just nodded at him and followed our tour guide.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Was my love not enough? Did he need more?  
  
  
  
He was not asking me for more nor did he question how much I cherish him, I just thought he wanted more because he was becoming closer with Younghoon. I was not mad; I am actually happy because he met a new beloved friend. I was just anxious.  
  
  
  
What if he discovered all the things that I'm lacking in Younghoon?  
  
  
  
**"Chanhee, are you okay?"** I was back to my senses when Younghoon gently stroked my shoulder.  
  
  
  
I shook my head, **"Changmin hasn't texted me yet. I was just worried."**  
  
  
  
**"Oh, he told me that he would be coming late since he overslept."** Younghoon smiled. I felt my heart stopped beating.  
  
  
  
He was able to tell his friend, but not his boyfriend.  
  
  
  
**"I see..."** I smiled bitterly, **"Text me when he got here. I'll be going now."  
**  
  
  
I didn't wait for him to respond nor did I look back when I heard him calling me. I just walked away, as if everything's fine.  
  
  
  
I was not mad at Changmin or Younghoon. I was just terrified. I was anxious. I was hurt by the fact that his friend might be a better boyfriend for him. I was afraid he would let me go once he developed his feelings for Younghoon.  
  
  
  
I was frightened to be left alone because I know that's how we might end.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**"OUCH!"** I groaned in pain.  
  
  
  
I almost fell down when I lost my balance. I guess it's a good thing that I went here with Changmin because if he wasn't here, I might have whacked my head already.  
  
  
  
**"Let's rest for a minute first. We're almost there anyway."** He said as we both sat down first. The tour guide helped us settle down.  
  
  
  
**"For a couple who is a first timer, I must say that both of you were good and passionate about it."** The tour guide chuckled, **"You almost made it on top without getting hurt, until this of course."**  
  
  
  
**"Thanks but we're not a couple..."** Changmin smiled awkwardly.  
  
  
  
I disturbed their conversation, **"We were. We broke up last week."  
**  
  
  
The tour guide looked shock when he heard my statement. Is this the first time for him to encounter a couple of exes who went out to hike together? It presumably is, considering that exes don't ordinarily hangout together.  
  
  
  
**"Let me see your wound, Chanhee."** Changmin said as he tried reaching for my knees.  
  
  
  
I hissed, **"Don't touch me!"**  
  
  
  
**"I will just put on this band aid."  
**  
  
  
I smirked, **"Can that heal the pain you caused too?"  
**  
  
  
He fell in silence after hearing my question. The tour guide was silent. The trees were silent. All the plants and flowers lost their ability to talk. Maybe I snapped, but it's what he deserved.  
  
  
  
I stood up fiercely. It was as if I didn't have any bruises on my knee. It was as if I wasn't hurt inside. It was as if I wasn't dying because of the pain I'm enduring.  
  
  
  
**"Let's go now. I don't want to waste my time, not with you again."** I said as I continued walking.  
  
  
  
I heard him sigh, and I honestly don't care.

_" **Are we still okay, Changmin?"** I asked him.  
  
  
  
I told him to meet me at the locker room after class hours. We were alone, and it's supposed to make me happy because I can be too clingy, but this time everything felt so different.  
  
  
  
**"What do you mean?"** He asked, sitting beside me.  
  
  
  
I decided to look elsewhere, **"Do you still want me to be your boyfriend?"  
**  
  
  
He wasn't able to answer as fast as I expected, and that hurt me so much. I didn't even think he had any plan on answering me. He just sat here beside me.  
  
  
  
**"I guess that's not the answer I was expecting but I needed the most."** I shook my head as I tried controlling my tears, **"Let's break up."**  
  
  
  
He squeezed my hand, **"I'm sorry, Chanhee. I'm really sorry."  
**  
  
  
I took my hand and stood up. That's not what I wanted you to say. I wanted you to stop me from leaving.  
  
  
  
One step.  
  
  
  
Two steps.  
  
  
  
Three steps.  
  
  
  
That was when I realized we're done._

**"Changmin, did you have any regret when we broke up?"** I asked, staring at the beautiful view above.  
  
  
  
The clouds look perfect, the sun shines brightly, and the wind gently touching my skin. Fresh air and explanation were the things I needed the most, and I hope I'll get them now.  
  
  
  
**"I regret not loving you as much as you loved me, Chanhee."** He answered, slowly walking closer to me.  
  
  
  
I smiled, but it was full of pain.  
  
  
  
**"From our trainee day until now, you have been by my side. God knows how happy and thankful I was because I once had you, but did you really love me, Changmin? Or was it just my imagination."**  
  
  
  
Changmin sighed, **"I tried, Chanhee. I really did."  
**  
  
  
**"But still,"** I bitterly smiled, **"You didn't."**  
  
  
  
I can no longer hold the tears I have been keeping these past few days, whenever I'm with our group. We've trained together, we have debuted together, but I guess that's the last thing we will do together.  
  
  
  
**"I don't want you to think that I didn't,"** Changmin hugged me, **"Because I did. I loved you, and I don't think I will ever stop loving you. It was just that what I felt was different from what you gave me."**  
  
  
  
**"We had sex!"** I screamed, pushing him away from me. **"We made love, Changmin. We did. How can you say that my love was different from your love?"**  
  
  
  
**"That's a normal reaction because of our hormones..."**  
  
  
  
**"It wasn't normal when you moaned my name! It was special Changmin. It was."  
**  
  
  
Changmin didn't answer. He just took out his handkerchief and wiped my tears. My knees got weaker, and my breaths are becoming shorter. I fell down, once again, with Changmin keeping me safe from the ground.  
  
  
  
**"It wasn't normal when you held me like this before..."** I whispered.  
  
  
  
Changmin cupped my cheeks, **"I'm sorry for hurting you like this, Chanhee. You didn't deserve me. You deserved the best."**  
  
  
**  
"But you were the best for me..."  
**  
  
  
I cleared my throat and looked at his face. It was a genuine beauty. I caressed it, **"I always want to hold you like this. You're really the best person I ever met. I don't know what I'll do without you in my life."**  
  
  
  
He didn't answer. He just made me sat on the ground properly. He sat beside me, and we just watched how the sun shines and how the birds fly, singing every time they almost strike us.  
  
  
  
I constantly dreamed of this. I want to witness this kind of view with the love of my life. I should be delighted now that my dream is finally happening, but I couldn't even smile from my ear to ear.  
  
  
  
I placed my head on his shoulder, **"I still love you, Changmin."**  
  
  
  
**"No matter how much I wanted to despise you for hurting me, I just couldn't."** I added, " **You were my first friend. You were everything to me. You made me appreciate myself more. You were the best person in this whole world. Whenever I'm with you, I feel like I'm the luckiest person. Whenever I'm with you, I feel like I'm the most magnificent person. That was how you made me feel, Changmin. That's how much you've reformed me. How this love transformed me."  
**  
  
  
I paused for a while, **"But this love also destroyed me. It was a good thing that we were on hiatus when we broke up. I was able to breakdown without my supporters finding out what happened. I was able to stay in my room all week long. I even thought I'm already gaining weight, but we all know that will not happen."  
**  
  
  
I chuckled. I took his hand and placed it on my chest.  
  
  
  
**"I hope you'll never forget me, Changmin. I hope you'll never forget how much I love you. When you found the person you truly love the most, I hope you'll love him or her the way I loved you."**  
  
  
  
I saw his tears fell. That's when I knew it's my turn to cup his cheeks and cease him from crying, **"Don't cry. Your eyes are too precious to be crying."**  
  
  
  
Changmin nodded as he tried stopping his tears. I just shook my head in disbelief. He's still hilarious, just like the Changmin I loved.  
  
  
  
**"I have one last request,"** I sighed, **"Will you grant it for me?"**  
  
  
**  
"Of course, Chanhee. Anything you desire."**  
  
  
  
I smiled, **"To say you're letting me go. Bid me goodbye as you call me using our endearment for the last time..."**  
  
  
  
I stood up. He did likewise.  
  
  
  
**"I'm letting you go. Do your best to reach your dreams, even if I'm no longer there to support you. Always be happy. Goodbye, love."** Changmin said as he pulled me closer into a kiss.  
  
  
  
Unlike before, I enjoyed no love at all. All I ever felt was pain, sadness and despair.  
  
  
  
I love you, Changmin. You were my best dream.

**[** **★** **BREAKING** **] THE BOYZ Choi Chanhee (New) Announces He's Leaving the Group in an Instagram Post**

**"Hello, this is THE BOYZ New**

**First of all, I want to thank all THE Bs for their endless love and interest in me. I**

**would like to share some sad news about being a member of the group.**

**Due to some circumstances, I have decided to leave the group and not pursue my**

**career as an idol. I know it was too sudden, and I didn't want to leave as well, but I**

**need to. A lot of things happened, and I don't think I can still continue as an artist.**

**Please continue supporting the remaining members!**

**All the love,**

**Choi Chanhee"**

**Author's Note:**

> That's it. Thank you for reading this story! If you loved it, make sure to share it to your mutuals! Speaking of mutuals, I just created my new fan account so let's be friends! 
> 
> Twitter: @sailornewpiter_


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